All Those Times I Fell in Love – Part 4

South of France

Barrage, écluse, levée. Disrespecting their denotations, the words flowed off my tongue gathering speed with each pronunciation. I sat watching the water swim past as I waited for my lunch to appear. The unrelenting trickle that passed over the rocks on the bank reminded me of the impermanence of the human state. Regardless, I was reveling in the warm assurance that my state, at least for the time being, was happiness.

Happiness is like sunshine, a predictable static entity. They glow and warm you from the inside out. Like the smile that was spreading across my face as I looked across the table.


As the smile spread I felt stillness. No fluttering heart, no mental checks on my appearance, nothing. It was as if my habitually spinning soul had been subsumed into another. I suppose it was there to learn what it could not teach itself. I supposed to that I should perhaps learn from the silences.

Sometimes they speak louder than words.

Water continued to babble alongside of me, voicing its confusion. I couldn’t find the words it was feeding me; they slipped by not even stopping long enough for me to recognize their meaning.

What was the use of profound expression anyway? A word streams off your tongue and rains down onto waiting ears. But what has it shown? Nothing. You can only show the thoughts when they are bound up by language through the soul. The same soul that you sometimes preciously entrust to another being. It is the Rosetta Stone through which the intentions behind your words are deciphered.

Words lack meaning. They transfer an expression of thought, but the true emotion they fail to capture remains locked. With each utterance, you can see the echo glint behind the eyes, the window to the soul. You feel the meaning escaping your woefully under-equipped ears, but you can see it. And that is what draws you closer. You venture close enough until your lips brush and you can see the thoughts that are tangled on the tongue you touch.

But to hear them you must surrender to the stillness.


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